Good Grammar Makes Me Smile; Poor Grammar Makes Me Laugh

We is!

viaairmail — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 20:38:48 +0000

There is a special circle of grammatical hell for the Atomic Wings in Cobble Hill. For that, I am grateful.

I wish I could presume that one of the employee’s children made this sign, but, sadly, I know better.

Punc!!!tuation???

viaairmail — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 18:52:27 +0000

Italics. Boldface. Underlining. Even CAPS, if need be. There are so many tools available that render unnecessary the need to use exclamation points!!! in the middle of a sentence for emphasis. If only someone had told this hungry-for-business restaurant in my neighborhood.

Happy Hippo Vent

viaairmail — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 21:24:50 +0000

Happy Vent

Originally uploaded by view from 5’2″

How one carefully placed sticker can make a vent the Happiest Vent on Orchard Street.

“Lunch Special” Education

viaairmail — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 21:18:11 +0000

A friend of mine wrote a Happy Holidays email that read “Best Wishes, from my family… to yours!”

NO NO NO!

When you hear someone pause in a commercial, they’re not issuing an ellipsis. They’re employing a comma. Commas tells people to pause and thus connect two thoughts, they are not meant to create dramatic tension. “Oh my god, who is your family going to send their best wishes to?! Who?! I can’t wait to find out! Or is it that you just forgot who you were wishing your best to?”

So I’m bothered that people write the way they hear commercials. It bothers me because they think that they can abuse punctuation that way.

And that’s why this sign, with its blatant lack of DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN TWO SENTENCES really jars my preserves. I had to read it twice before I even understood what it meant.

“Why Choose? Get both!” is what it meant to say.

That’s what eating at Atomic Wings will do to your brain.

Rhymes with “Farmer John”

viaairmail — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 20:55:54 +0000

Rhymes with “Farmer John”

Originally uploaded by view from 5’2″

A post for a fundraiser at my Grandma Sylvia’s apartment complex in Aventura, Florida, so I’m guessing the person who wrote this was probably at least 75 years old.

Gourmet, the meal is probably not.

Sad Wine Stain

viaairmail — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 18:20:55 +0000

Originally uploaded by view from 5’2″

A chance wine-spilling speaks to our dismay at having spilled some of our precious wine.

Someone Else’s Grammar

viaairmail — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 04:59:59 +0000

It may be another language – or supposed to be – but it’s still been bastardized. I think that’s supposed to be a “hay” – ה – but the folks at Whole Foods made it look like an rotated “F.” More like Whole FOOLS.

Because Nouns are Grammar…

viaairmail — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 22:08:42 +0000

…and I love design, I’m in swooning over this project.

http://bigthink.com/ideas/25322

Some cool screenshots from thenounproject.com:

Like Touching, There Is Good Spam & Bad Spam

viaairmail — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 17:55:14 +0000

Bad Spam: Canned meat; emails from your ex’s hacked account.

Good Spam: When a spammer hits up your Grammar Blog with the following message:

I have infer from a scarcely any of the articles on your website in the present circumstances, and I extremely like your style of blogging. I added it to my favorites net period list and disposition be checking assist soon. Divert repress out of order my put as well and fail me be familiar with what you think. Thanks

O, the irony!

It goes without saying that “Divert repress out of order my put as well and fail me be familiar with what you think” is my favorite part. But the lack of final punctuation following that “Thanks” perhaps delights me the most.

If it ain’t broke…

viaairmail — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 19:12:03 +0000

The Queen’s advice is sound and apropos at any time (see pink sign on left) but her message is *entirely weakened* when ripped off (see red sign on right).

Granted, this is not a grammatically-related post. But it is letter-related, and do letters not comprise the very words that define my beloved grammar? And, clearly, letters cannot be used to their full potential when cheaply replicated in a bastardized font.

That’s what really struck a nerve with me.

There is currently no exact matching font for this inspiring WWII-era message, and do you know what that says to me? It says: Don’t even bother trying to recreate it.

It looks like the red poster on the right was typed up in Arial, quite possibly in Word. For shame, Cheap Poster Maker, for shame. You should be forced to attend Typeface Sensitivity Training.

It took about .003 seconds of internet searching to find the culprit (http://bit.ly/gugmeP). It’s taken much inner-strength to not contact this schmuck and ask him why bother recreating this when the original has now become so ubiquitous. JC Niemeyer, I’m sure you know the old adage: “If it ain’t broke, then leave it the hell alone.”

PS: Nice shot of old John Lennon flashing his peace sign in between the two pictures; my homage to yesterday’s tragic 30 year anniversary.